[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

[escepticos] RV: Toast: just say no



-----Original Message-----
De: JOHN LANGDON <langdon en facstaff.UINDY.EDU>
Para: zimmerman en facstaff.UINDY.EDU <zimmerman en facstaff.UINDY.EDU>;
snawrocki en facstaff.UINDY.EDU <snawrocki en facstaff.UINDY.EDU>;
radich en facstaff.UINDY.EDU <radich en facstaff.UINDY.EDU>;
csinclair en facstaff.UINDY.EDU <csinclair en facstaff.UINDY.EDU>;
mgobbett en facstaff.UINDY.EDU <mgobbett en facstaff.UINDY.EDU>;
mwilliamson en facstaff.UINDY.EDU <mwilliamson en facstaff.UINDY.EDU>;
mritke en facstaff.UINDY.EDU <mritke en facstaff.UINDY.EDU>;
cschmidt en facstaff.UINDY.EDU <cschmidt en facstaff.UINDY.EDU>;
jwhite en facstaff.UINDY.EDU <jwhite en facstaff.UINDY.EDU>;
reinhardt en facstaff.UINDY.EDU <reinhardt en facstaff.UINDY.EDU>
Fecha: viernes 16 de abril de 1999 22:54
Asunto: Re: Toast: just say no


>In message <s71767a1.067 en PSGHS.EDU> David Langdon MD writes:
>> Toast - just say no
>>
>> Important warning for those who have been drawn
>> unsuspectingly into the use of bread:
>>
>>  1. More than 98% of convicted felons are bread
>>       users.
>>
>>  2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in
>>       bread-consuming households score below average
>>       on standardized tests.
>>
>>  3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was
>>       baked in the home, the average life expectancy was
>>        less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were
>>        unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth;
>>        and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and
>>        influenza ravaged whole nations.
>>
>>  4. More than 90% of violent crimes are committed
>>       within 24 hours of eating bread.
>>
>>  5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough."
>>       It has been proven that as little as one pound of
>>       dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The
>>       average American eats more bread than that in one
>>       month!
>>
>>  6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread
>>       exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's,
>>       Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
>>
>>  7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects
>>      deprived of bread and given only water to eat
>>       begged for bread after as little as two days.
>>
>>  8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the
>>       user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut
>>       butter, and even cold cuts.
>>
>>  9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since
>>       the human body is more than 90% water, it follows
>>     that eating bread could lead to your body being
>>       taken over by this absorptive food product, turning
>>      you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
>>
>>  10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
>>
>>  11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400
>>         degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an
>>         adult in less than one minute.
>>
>>  12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable
>>         to distinguish between significant scientific fact
>>        and meaningless statistical babbling.
>>
>>  In light of these frightening statistics, we propose
>>  the following bread restrictions:
>>
>>  1. No sale of bread to minors.
>>
>>  2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign,
>>       complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
>>
>>  3. A 300% federal tax on all bread to pay for all
>>       the societal ills we might associate with bread.
>>
>>  4. No animal or human images, nor any primary
>>       colours (which may appeal to children) may be
>>       used to promote bread usage.
>>
>>  5. The establishment of "bread-free" zones around
>>       schools.
>
>
>
>JOHN H. LANGDON, Ph.D.                   LANGDON en UINDY.EDU
>CHAIR, DEPARTMENT OF BIOLOGY             OFFICE PHONE (317)788-3447
>UNIVERSITY OF INDIANAPOLIS               FAX (317)788-3569
>1400 EAST HANNA AVENUE
>INDIANAPOLIS, IN 46227
>USA
>
>