[escepticos] [Fwd: Discovery of New Element]

[Pedro J Hernández González <pedroj.hernandezgonzalez@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the

 heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
 "Bushcronium."

 Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and
 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an Atomic mass of 311. These 311
 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by
 vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

 Since Bushcronium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
 detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A
 minute amount of Bushcronium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to
 complete when it would normally take less than a second. Bushcronium has a
 normal half-life of multiples of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead
 undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and
 deputy neutrons exchange places.

 In fact, Bushcronium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
 reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
 This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that
 Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
 concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
 Morass."

 When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element
 which radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise,
 since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.